Why Won’t Hugo Chavez Let Us Assassinate Him?

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Back in the old days it would have been no problem whatsoever to pick off a guy like Hugo Chavez (unless of course he lived on the Island of Cuba). It was almost like the newly elected leftist leaders of Central and South America knew instinctively that they might as well lay on their bellies and wait for a bullet in the back of their head. Back then though we had competent Zionists in our presidential administrations who at least occasionally thought about the interests of the United States(or more precisely those of Pepsi Cola or IBM). Now as we know everything is about Israel. And of course leave it to W to find the most incompetent Zionists in America to serve in his administration. Several of these men have recently gotten attention for their efforts to mislead us into war with Israel’s former arch enemy Iraq (Perle, Wolfowitz and Feith…see Count Aipacula and the Axis of Weasels). Other Bush administration treason monkeys have done a better job staying off the radar screen. That of course was until today. Enter Elliot Abrams, the fascist bigot with a big ugly attitude and a rap sheet. This criminal loves his genetic materials and he doesn’t give a shit who knows. In fact, LWB was advised by a senior administration official who asked not to be identified, that Abrams has been observed in his office attempting to do that which is generally regarded anatomically impossible (Thanks Dick for that tid-bit, I owe you buddy).

But just who is the odious Elliot Abrams. Well, here is a good rule of thumb. Whenever Abrams is employed by the United States, and you find a stink of international treachery, Abrams will always be in close proximity. Take his most recent calamity, Arming a Gaza war lord so he could overthrow a democratically elected government. That turned out great didn’t it. Then there was the bungled attempt to overthrow the democratically elected Hugo Chavez in Venezuela. And then there was all that unpleasant stuff in Central America that almost landed him in prison for lying to Congress. Lying about a whole town slaughtered by a group of Contras he was helping. “According to congressional records, under Abram’s watch, the Contras “raped, tortured, and killed unarmed civilians, including children,” and that “groups of civilians, including women and children, were burned, dismembered, blinded and beheaded.”” Wow what a guy. These are the kind of family values us good Christians look for in our management of national affairs. What would our Neo-cons do without presidential pardons from guys named Bush?

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